Bohemian Crip

writing a lot,

erika — Sun, 06 May 2012 03:36:24 +0000

though most of it is kind of silly. With hard work next week, Who’s That Lady? should still be done on time. Even though I still have never fallen in love with it, and between that and the silliness I might love because it is so pointless and you can create and publish within hours. The novel is really losing out…I have no idea how I’ll bring that sucker home, except if I don’t do it this summer I probably won’t. And that will leave me with three or four novel skeletons I’m carrying around. Which I’ll hate, because I’ve tried to write one since I was nineteen and thought I’d need practice coping with early success.

Finally…

erika — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 21:21:58 +0000

getting some headway on anthology story 2. It’s sort of a Pam Grier-inflected story inspired by Loretta from Justified

Politics Claims Another Victim- Rereading Gone With The Wind

erika — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 22:15:50 +0000

I should probably say history as well as politics…knowing what I know now, Mitchell’s writing about Reconstruction is not very accurate.(Of course, how much of that stuff we learn at our family’s knee really is? So I guess I’m not really blaming her for that, although it is totally the smart-person reason for turning against this, from an artistic/technique place at least, kind of a piece of junk that has been around since our grandmas were babies and has been awarded heavy iconic status.)I’d love to say it was that, or the extremely major racial baggage, with all the transliterated “negro” dialogue and the tendency to pair black men and rape whenever possible…those are the Good People answers for why this book is now more of a guilty pleasure. But the truth is, that I just don’t like Scarlett anymore. Her self-involvement is not as mitigated now by her hardships as it was when I was fifteen. Maybe teen girls see themselves in this book because, although by the end, she’s supposed to be, what? Twenty-nine, I think, a twenty-nine year-old mother of three(one dies in a riding accident), she still comes off about sixteen emotionally. Maybe it’s because I know what it’s like to start over now, or maybe we are not meant to continue to spark to the things that usher in our puberty.The crackle between her and Rhett Butler still keeps the pages turning, and I think this book does give the lie to the whole Bella Swan thing, where Bella doesn’t have a personality so that girls see themselves in her. Girls see themselves in Scarlett too, and she has a personality. A rotten one, but it’s still a personality.
I am kind of ashamed to say that understanding that one scene with Rhett and Scarlett as marital rape doesn’t really make the scene less sexy, although that would be another Good Person response.

New server…

erika — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:36:09 +0000

not exactly sure what that means, but it sounds like something to commemorate.(Hope people still read this, even though it’s been months since I tipped the chair on myself. Not always that many thrills and chills.)
Man, that Justified finale was something wasn’t it?

Working Hard And Hardly Working.

erika — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 02:08:38 +0000

working on novel, about 500 words daily…lately, it’s going better when I start earlier…maybe because it’s brighter outside? I’m not sure, but as soon as I get secure in it, it will change up again…that’swhy I can never comment on Process discussions. Yet another slice of my life where I have little control. Shocking I know!
Still looking for a “dare to be great” situation…it’s beginning to bother me how much unhappiness is becoming part of my life. Like I could describe myself as thirties, blonde, wheelchair user, and slightly unhappy. That’s not what I wanted. I’m glad it’s not worse…operatic misery, capital D, depression, but still. Have a tiny germ of idea for second music story–hoping I can get it done on time. Not as excited about that either, but I’m saying yes to everything right now. So much for the thought that a new computer would fix everything.

Tuesday finds me…

erika — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 18:40:50 +0000

back doing my Peggy Oleson thing(Without the super-secret pregnancy, I should add, though my sad social life should make that painfully obvious) Please tell me I won’t be writing about the disability equivalent of the relaxizer for the rest of my life.

Back online…

erika — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 18:46:03 +0000

Read a lot during my enforced hiatus–in particular the “Feminine Mystique” on the Kindle.(Kindles are really the only piece of tech I’ve ever been able to use right out of the box–still stunned by that, as an aside.) But I couldn’t help noticing that I found myself *relating* more to these over-educated but underperforming housewives Friedan profiled, instead of feeling smugly located on the right side of history as in early readings(junior year of high school, a few attempts during my endless college days) There really are elements of my crip experience that are very like that, though it is not really “the problem with no name for me” because an adult life plugged into disability rights gives you nothing if not plenty of names and analysis. People want us to do “something” but not too much, maybe some committee they can announce with great fanfare, get you to dress up for with a stack of handouts as big as your head, and get busy making recommendations that will get confined to the dark circles of hell. No, thanks. I played that game already.If I thought it was fun, it’d be one thing, but I don’t like that stuff. Don’t play sports and don’t make crafts…modern suburbia is officially out of ideas for crips once you make those decisions.Very much like the older housewife in the book not grooving on her role in the Library Committee, even if she’s good at it.
Still, part of me feels guilty that I blew off the advisory council invite this week. But I don’t really believe DDD will ever be better, and I suspect the part of me that feels bad is the teacher’s pet–the one that accepted headpats and “specialness” instead of friendship and equality…the thing is, it would be so easy(in one sense, at least…in a more practical one, I bet it’s a horrible time commitment of just fourteen easy nights a month, because what else do “special” people do but give our wisdom away for stale cookies and sugary punch?) But I do know what they want…I’m blonde and unfortunately on the edges of being cherubic looking, can be sort of non-threateningly clever, and just funny and snarky enough to make you feel that you’re in on it, without being secure enough to make the Establishment types the butts they so deserve to be. I like the woman who suggested me, but I still know she gave out my name on a sticky note under a title like “A Really Sharp Lady” or something like that…sigh. Rahm Emanuel I’m not.
Also, my cousin’s fiance looks like Boyd Crowder from Justified…Boyd’s more attractive, though.

Feeling inspired again…

erika — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:49:14 +0000

strangely enough, because I bought this book on my Kindle called “The 90-day Novel”(I’m going to have to chill on buying things for it for a bit if I’m going to contribute to the computer fund, but that one was seven dollars, so, not a huge setback. I figure if the novel is good, I could buy the whole thing and not have to “save up” like a kid thinking about Christmas. There are lots of exercises in the book…I’ve done four, even though pretending to be Darnell and write about my hopes and dreams feels lame. I think maybe the helpful bit is to be reminded to surprise yourself and not get devoted to early thoughts about your book and its characters.

New Story Online

erika — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:00:38 +0000

My story “Cherrypoppers, Inc.” came out in Breath and Shadow this week.The Cherrypopping part shouldn’t be taken all that literally– Cherrypoppers customers could be buying all sorts of life experience. In my(and my character’s) case, there are aging ingenue issues, but I wasn’t really writing about sex as much as what it would feel like to go out and buy a thrill. I hope you like it…my friends on Facebook kind of ignored it.

Feeling like the Writer in the Plastic Bubble

erika — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 19:39:07 +0000

very insecure about my lack of Life Experience(TM) although I know there are not a lot of modern writers that actually go the Hemingway/Henry Miller route. But sometimes I feel that any reader I have can see How much time I spend watching TV in my sweatpants.(I’m very ashamed of being so Special that I was not left alone in my house till I was fifteen, for instance, despite our movement’s thing about Pride
Treating my computer like a premature child with a cough is not helping either.Mr. Gates, it’s swell that you want to pay a more fair tax rate, but right now, I’d prefer it if you’d work on a way to get more usage from your PCS…maybe eight or ten years instead of five. Thanks.) Computers need a Volkswagen…something cute, but also tough enough just to go and go. I can’t focus because all I do is wonder if this is the Last Time. I suppose it’s lucky I never went in for that volunteer training at the hospice, after all. I’m guessing I would be really bad at it.